The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
