If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
