it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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