I hate your face
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
