My cat gives me a boner
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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