I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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