Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
