That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
