I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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