My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
