i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
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Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize