I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
