I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
