she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
