laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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