that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
