I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
