So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
