Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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