I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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