Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
