508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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