I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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