too bad you live with your parents still
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
