i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
