Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
