I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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