yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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