Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
