Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
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I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
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He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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