Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
