3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize