My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
from now on my penis is your penis
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
