Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
and you fell through a lawn chair
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
