She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
