I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
