You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
