So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
