I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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