I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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