Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
