How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
