I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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