that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
