Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
