Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
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I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
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He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
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