He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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