His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
