dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
