Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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