i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
