And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
