i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
