Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize