A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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