FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
