I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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