i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
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