guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
