i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
