So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
